I don’t get it, really.

The people who you thought you could trust and be happy with, end up being complete idiots in the end.

I’m talking now about my new ex-boyfriend, Vince. I thought he was the smartest guy in the world. Not a very good sense of humor, but that can always be overlooked. He was great at hanging out and just being caring and understanding.

But when it comes to break-ups, this guy does not seem to know when to turn or who to turn to. I was so confused, and when I tried talking to him online he said the he already broke up with me over Spring Break, although we did NOT break up over Spring Break because I got the impression that we are still together.

But now I see very clearly that we are not.

At first I was really sad about this, because I was telling him that he should have called me over Spring Break and how we haven’t talked for like 3 weeks. I told him that this was NOT how a relationship is. They are supposed to communicate and talk with each other. I could feel the signs that we were going to break up, and I was all ready to be doing the breaking.

And then he turns around and dumps it on me, says that he already said that ‘things weren’t going very well’ over Spring Break, and that we had already broken up.

I was crushed, and then became mad.

What?

How could that be?

I certainly remember feeling the distinct impression that we were still together, that we were just going to put things ‘on hold’ for awhile until he got done with the play or whatever.

How wrong I was.

Reflecting Time for Today:

Next year I have a single room, and I thought it would be a lot better. I mean, I have some friends now that I hang out with and like being with. Lots of people say you meet a lot of friends at college, and I mean looking now at all of my friends back at home, I guess that is true. They all talk about their friends at college - it is so great!

At my college, you would think making friends would be easy, being with 25,000 other students; making friends should NOT be that hard. But for some reason, I don’t feel like I have as many friends as everyone else I talk to.

Actually, now that I think about it, I think that I’m just a ‘loner’ I guess one can say.

I like being by myself, and I’m okay with being by myself.

I don’t have as many friends as say my roommate; I don’t go out and get drunk on the weekends, and if I did I’m certain I would have a lot more friends.

My floor likes me, but it is a neutral ‘like’. Not the type of ‘like’ that they will come up to me and ask me to go out to lunch with them or something. It is far beyond that since Sarah left my room. And I’ve made it clear that I like it that way.

Maybe it is my ITK168 class.

I’ve noticed ever since I’ve been in that class, it just seems like I don’t have time at ALL for a social life whatsoever, save the few people who are also in that class with me. I can still hear my teacher’s voice in my head at the beginning of class this semester:

“During this semester, you won’t have much of a social life, so don’t count on it.”

Kind of rude, now that I’ve typed it out; but it’s really to the point. And now, being halfway through the semester (Hell we’re almost 3/4 of the way through…) I find her comment to be very true, sticking out more in my mind now than ever before.

I guess you can say I do have a FEW friends, like Sandra, Sherika, Jeanette, and Lauren.

With Sandra, we used to hang out every Friday, but now we don’t hang out anymore. We’re both busy and now she works in the same place I do as well, Vrooman. Jeanette and Lauren and I all ‘hang out’ together because we are in the same programming class (ITK 168) and therefore we help each other out.

I think the only true person I just go to and hang out with would be Sherika, and that’s only because she lives on my floor. Her roommate, Andrea, is cool as well. :-)

Today I was calling all of my friends from here, in Lincoln, and I ended up getting quite a few people to go to Steak’n'Shake.

I guess that is what started me thinking.

Then, after we went to Steak’n'Shake, Abby and I went back to her house and watched a movie, when her friend (and mine, at least I think so - ha ha) Marc came over. It was really nice, we ate dinner there and I personally had a lot of fun.

I also tried calling JP today, but it ended up he was not home all day…

I guess that is what got me thinking.

I don’t understand even myself sometimes.