Super Secret.

So yesterday at work was an interesting experience. I was printing off a phone number list for everyone in the basement, when Marsha, the secretary for Facilities Planning and Services told me that she was going on break. She is a slightly older woman, always talking about her grandchildren - she’s also very nice.

Now normally Marsha has been reading or knitting in the small-ish kitchen that we have in the basement during her break, sitting at the table for 15 minutes or so on her break that she takes at or around 3:00PM.

Today, though, something different happens.

“I’m going to go and hide,” Marsha reveals to me. She gathers her knitting bag and book, looking at me.

“Okay,” I say, not really understanding, “Have fun.”

“Let me show you something.” She says. “Come with me.” Then, she goes through the door directly behind her small cube.

Now, no one ever goes in that door - I mean I have seen a few building mechanics go through that door and then come out soon afterwards, but it is also a quick in-and-out. The small window that lets you see into the room is always completely black, telling me that is probably a machine room of sorts.

“Marsha, are we allowed to go back there?” I ask, looking towards Dean’s door before darting behind Marsha’s counter.

“Of course, why can’t we?” She says, and holds the door open for me.

I go through the door, and there is a long metal shelf running along the wall on the left. It is full of books and binders and older paper boxes full of who-knows-what. This shelf intersects another metal shelf in the back of the room. This shelf is also full of binders and papers - it runs along the back wall, and there is another door that has a window that is completely black in the back of the room.

“My little hiding spot,” Marsha says happily, showing me the path through the shelves. We come to the next door, but Marsha stops.

“We can’t go in there?” I ask. Her ‘hiding spot’ is quiet, but I keep on hearing a gentle humming noise, coming from…somewhere.

“This is it!” Marsha says loudly as if I didn’t hear her, pointing behind me.

I turn around and look around. Shoved between the wall and a large metal filing cabinet is a green chair - just like my coworker, Steve’s.

“This is where you go?” I ask, perplexed. Surely, she could find somewhere better to read rather than next to a filing cabinet and a humming room…

“Yes - it is very quiet in here - Shhhhhhh.” She says, putting her finger to her lips. She sets her bag down that I assume has her knitting and book inside.

“Can we go in there?” I ask Marsha, turning back around to face her and the door, which is directly behind her.

“Yes, yes of course,” She says and opens the door. A wall of sound greets my ears.

“Wholly crap - I thought it would be quieter in here!” I yell, following Marsha inside. The generator is taking up most of the tiny room, along with all of the switches for the elevator and power for the building are in here.

We go around the switches and end up right in front of a large hole in the wall. I feel a slight breeze coming from it. The tunnel isn’t very big - it’s about twice the size of a computer monitor (sad that I’m comparing it to a computer, I know).

“Where does that go?” I ask, immediately after the door cuts off the wall of sound - we are back to her hiding spot, the humming room.

“Oh, it goes to the swimming pool,” She says, referring to the building across the street that has a swimming pool. She explains that it goes to a room, which is below ground - it comes out right at the pool. In that room there is a glass window, where you can look in and see the people swimming.

“Wait, how do you know where that leads? You didn’t…go down it did you?” I said, thinking of the dirt-encrusted tunnel. Gross.

“Oh no, I would be too claustrophobic. No, the building mechanics told me where it goes – they have seen the other side.”

Then she talks about cleaning up the floor a bit in her hiding spot – maybe bringing in decorations.

“Well, I figured I may as well tell someone in case it has been awhile and no one can find me. I have either fallen asleep or died!” She hoots, laughing at her own joke.

“Yes of course, so now I know where to find you if you have suddenly gone missing,” I say.

Super Secret Spot - Kind of cool, and she also told me that she told another person down here in the basement - Patsy. So just Patsy, Marsha and I know where this little hiding spot is of Marsha’s.

And, of course - You.

So today after eating a quick lunch with Teresa, we practically run over to Stevenson, where we both have classes. I have a Midterm today in that same class, and Teresa made me walk all the way around the other side of the building with her (not that I mind).

I go up the four flights of stairs, and start walking to the other end of the building where my classroom is. Suddenly, it hits me like a truck. I seriously have to pee. I run into the nearest woman’s restroom and go into a stall, slamming the door shut with the exuberance of someone in desperate need of a toilet.

While relieving myself, I had one of the most horrifying moments a woman could ever have in a restroom.

“…yeah I know man, I think I did pretty bad on that quiz as well,” I hear a few men outside the door to the woman’s bathroom.

“Oh definitely,” Another was saying, and I swear I heard it echo off the walls in the bathroom, were they standing right outside it or something?

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t do so hot on that quiz - hold up one second,” One guy says, and I hear stomping coming nearer. A man had just entered the woman’s bathroom! A little afraid that I was just about to tell a man off for being in the bathroom, I finish relieving myself and pull up my pants.

“What did you get on question 13?” Another guy says. I sit back down on the toilet - fully clothed.

Wholly crap. There is no way in hell that more than one guy can accidentally walk into the woman’s bathroom.

Suddenly, it dawns on me. I must be in the Men’s Restroom.

Oh crap.

I clap my hand to my mouth and look down under the stall. Yeah, two guys are standing with their backs to me, facing the urinals. In my haste to get to the stalls, I didn’t even notice the urinals. They were on the far wall, beyond the stalls and sinks.

“Hey did you take that quiz as well?” I hear another guy enter the bathroom, making conversation with the other two gentleman already in here. No one seems to notice a girl in the stall. I look down at my bookbag. It’s red. Is that a guy’s color? I look down at my feet - I’m wearing flare jeans.

Oh God.

I pray that they will just finish and go away - leaving me alone in a men’s bathroom.

Unfortunately, that is not the case. Now classes are getting out - I hear a few more guys enter, talking about yet another test that they had to take.

“Dude I totally bombed that one,” Another guy says. I hear the previous men washing their hands.

“Yeah I’m not sure about the True-False questions really those things were f*cking hard!” Another yells over the guys washing their hands. I try to think fast - should I cover my head and make a run for it? Should I wait for them all to leave? I will be late to class! And I would really like to wash my hands before I leave - it’s kind of gross if someone doesn’t wash their hands after they pee…

Suddenly, a guy enters the next stall, slamming the door shut - I give a high-pitched yelp. He scared me out of my thoughts.

“Hey man keep it down in there,” The guy in the next stall says, banging on the wall playfully. I slap my hand to my face - I don’t even want to know what he thought I was doing in there.

“Hey those are some cute jeans,” The same guy says in a high-pitched voice - I think since he thought I was a male, he probably assumed I dressed like a girl. Der. I quickly gather up my bookbag.

The guy in the next stall comes out and starts washing his hands - now’s the time to go. I hear a few other males come into the bathroom.

“Oh crap!” I think - out loud.

“Wholly shit man! It is a girl!” The guy that was in the stall next to me yells to everyone. I hear several footsteps stop - the faucet water is shut off suddenly.

I walk out to a small, all-male crowd gawking at my stall.

My face must have looked like the setting sun when I came out of that stall. They were either all in shock or something because not a single one of them laughed.

I just walked out as fast as I possibly could - of course I got a few more stares from the students in the hallway as I rebounded into the nearest, woman’s restroom I could find.

I washed my hands and headed to class.