I don’t know why but lately I’ve been trying to find when exactly Roseanne is on during the times of day - I know that it is always on at night during the “Nick at Night” thing, but other than that I’m not sure.

It’s probably finals with all of the stress of final papers, final exams, take-home finals, final EVERYTHING that is making me turn to comedy to give me some laughter and relief from the day.

It feels good.

Anyways I wanted to share a few quotes from the show I was watching tonight along with other shows I remember (and rip off of websites, naturally). Darlene is just impeccable with her sarcastic timing - she makes the show flow and provides and offset to Roseanne’s comedy.

Dan: (After a big fight where Darlene returns home from a few months of being with her boyfriend at his place) Darlene I’m sorry I yelled at you before.
Darlene: No problem.
Dan: Let’s just put this all behind us - I mean…
Darlene: (Rubbing stomach) Yeah, tell that to my baby…
Dan: Darlene…
Darlene: (Walks off stage, laughing)

Ahhh a good moment - of course you can probably tell that was paraphrased from the show I am currently watching.

And now some of my favorites to (hopefully) entertain your day:

Darlene: [to D.J] You’re about to become a strange smell in the attic.
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Darlene: What is wrong with this family!
Roseanne: Your father and I are really brothers.
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[both Dan and Roseanne are out of their jobs]
Roseanne: And do you have anything to say?
Darlene: Can I have a pony?
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D.J.: You stink!
Roseanne: I do not.
D.J.: You smell like smoke.
Roseanne: Well, my hair was on fire.
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Dan: [about the kids] None of ‘em look like me.
Roseanne: That won’t stand up in court, Dan.
Dan: Damn.
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Becky: Nice hair.
Darlene: Nice life.
Becky: Go to hell.
Darlene: Go to the mall.
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Dan: I don’t care what your story is. The rule is you call.
Darlene: It was a bad neighborhood. When I finally found a phone booth I got tired of waiting for the guy in it to finish peeing.
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Becky: Darlene you just shouldn’t let sex rule your life
Darlene: You know, thats the same speech mom gave me. Except you left out the part “… or you’ll end up like Becky”.

Classic.