Wow I need to write more - so many things and so little time. If you really want to know what is going on in my life you already know or you need to call me in the next 10 seconds.

Anywho - so today there is an “Intern Outing” at the Cubs game at Wrigley field in downtown Chicago. Then on Saturday some of the interns are going to downtown for the Taste of Chicago! So stay tuned for pictury-goodness coming to a theatre near you. And this blog!

God I’m fat.

I was reading about how transitions are in books and novels, and how people naturally do them when they are speaking or writing a blog entry. When it comes to a paper, however, people usually have to think for about 3 days before a transition comes to them.

Interesting.

Did you know that Odontophobia is the fear of teeth? See, I’m getting better at transitions already. I actually find that not doing transitions makes the reading, well, funnier.

The most money ever paid for a cow in an auction was 1.3 million dollars! Wow that’s a lot of cash that no one should ever paid for a cow, unless they were to sacrifice the 1.3 million-dollar cow to say, a really good steak-house. Speaking of sunscreen, I haven’t told you all about my little “problem”, have I?

Over this past weekend (Sunday, to be exact), I laid out by the pool for about three hours. Swimming, tanning, swimming, etc - and it was an overcast day! Anyways I woke up on Monday, and boy was I burnt!

Over the next few days I just took Advil to get rid of the pain, which wasn’t so bad. Then, on Tuesday, Joanette and I decide to go to the Health/Fitness Center where we get free passes to by living in the apartments that Discover provides for us.

Sweating + Sunburn = BAD

After running a lot, we decide to go back to the apartments. At first when I got done working out I said “My sunburn is starting to itch…”. By the time I got to the car to drive back to the apartments, I was itching up a storm!

Boy I could go for some lobster right now. Did you know that 1 in 5,000 north Atlantic lobsters are born bright blue?

Anyways, Joanette and I made an emergency stop at the Dominicks on the way home, and at this moment in time I just could not stop scratching. The pharmacist gave me some of this spray-stuff, and after I got home and took a shower, I sprayed that crap all over me for like 10 minutes.

Aerosol is BAD for you, by the way. Boy was I choking and gagging - genius!

However, the itching was gone!

It was a really tiny can, so I figured I should buy some other things to try and get my itching down to a minimum level. After buying a bunch of lotions (none of them worked) - I finally bought some Benadryl anti-itch cream made for poison-ivy and sumac skin irritations - but it also said that it will work with sunburn! That, along with this lotion that had oatmeal extracts (which are supposed to keep people from itching) and Aloe Vera in it is working pretty good.

Now I can type without having to stop every five seconds to scratch myself. Ah, technology makes me happy.

Don’t forget to have a good day, and make sure to keep that toothbrush at least 6 feet away from the toilet! What, you didn’t know that? Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

I think I will be an excellent writer when I grow up.

“Hi, I’d like to return this.”

Is how the conversation started.

“Maybe I can help you shove this up your ass?”

Is how it ended.

I bought a USB hub a few days ago from the Best Buy here in town at the Golf Mall. After using it for a day, it breaks! So, I did what any normal human would do, and I ordered take-out from the Chinese restaurant up the street.

Not really, but Chinese sure does sound good, doesn’t it?

“Ma’am, do you have the receipt?” The Best Buy employee inquires.

Yes, I told her, and promptly hand her the correct receipt. She scans it. The machine beeps.

“You…bought this here?” She says, frowning at the screen. She takes a closer look at my receipt - it still says “Welcome to Best Buy” at the top. Good thing I took Advil before I went there…

“Where is the price tag?” She says.

“I peeled it off and threw it away with the plastic-wrap,” I said - honesty is the best policy.

“You threw away the price tag when you knew you needed to return it?” She snaps.

“I threw away the price tag because I thought that it would work,” I retort.

Her eyes seem to x-ray me. I’m starting to feel violated.

“I’m thinking you opened it already,” She says coldly. What I’m thinking now involves the USB hub and a blowtorch, but I decide to explain my rationality.

“Well yes I opened it, but it broke,” I say, gritting my teeth. She examines the package.

“I need that price tag because it has the UPC code on it,” She says, putting it down.

“I don’t have the price tag, and it did not have the UPC code on it, the UPC code is on the box,” I say, trying to keep this woman’s stupid level at a minimum.

“Well I can only give you store credit for an opened package,” She says, putting emphasis on the ‘opened’ part. I look at the USB hub, neatly folded back into the packaging - even though the package is opened the USB Hub is still faulty and broken.

“Oh okay great, well then let me get my grocery list so I can get my milk and eggs and get out of here,” I say sarcastically.

“That’s not funny,” She snaps.

“I’d like to see your manager,” I say.

The manager is successful at scanning the UPC code on the box of the USB hub. After some talking, he agrees to return my money to it’s appropriate spot: my credit card. I end up purchasing a slightly more expensive USB hub at Best Buy anyways - I don’t think the cheapest USB hub I bought was the smartest idea.

Reason for Returning: Best Buy employee’s stupid level too high to work there.