Why after so many years has it come to this? Oh, what I have done to forsaken thee?

I have only treated you as if you were made of glass, and with the respect and dignity that you deserved. LIKE YOU WERE MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD.

Oh, WHY - WHY - When I was just using you like a proper computer, your little paper-thin spacebar came flying off and you rejected me like a bad date.

After carefully extracting the parts that came with the now broken spacebar, I tried to fit you back together, but alas, you test my love for you by denying the spacebar as if it were NEVER a piece of you.

Then I had to find a suitable alternative to myself in order to fix you, and I came across one in the paper. I dropped you off, little laptop, at that place so that he could treat you with the same dignity and respect that I so do. And he’d better, because I ordered the Deluxe Package, which comes complete with WINE AND A PILLOW.

At least, it should.

After being away from you for only 24 hours, I miss you like the Sun misses the sky during nightfall, like the moon…like…like my STOMACH MISSES CHOCOLATE.

And I sit, staring at the blank brick wall in my room, not knowing what else to do with my time. It’s as if the world has been taken away from me, and I have a large gaping hole inside my heart.

It was at that moment that I took out my homework and began to do it.

LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME - I have resorted to HOMEWORK to fulfill my time!

Please, come back to me soon so that I may properly waste time on my own computer.