Well, I figured I would blog because I actually came to my blog yesterday and realized that my entry about kicking people in the groin-area will probably win the contest for the “worst holiday cheer entry of all time” -

Today at work was interesting. A guy I work with, Lowrell, smells…well, GOOD. Every time he walks by I try to figure out if he’s wearing cologne by trying to get high off of his scent.

Let’s just say that I’m going to force my next boyfriend to smell like him.

“Do you wear cologne everyday or something?” I blurt out while he’s cutting pizza.

“Yeah, it’s cologne.”

“What’s the name of it?” I ask, only it probably sounded more like: “CAN I HAVE SEX WITH YOU?!”

Lowrell just looks at me weird and tells me. Of course, I forgot the name of it already.

“Why?” Lowrell says, a look of panic suddenly crossing his face, “Does it smell bad or something?!”

Wow, a guy who is ACTUALLY wears cologne to Dominos! I consider it a good day when more than half the staff showers for the day, honestly.

Speaking of Dominos, I actually have off for the next, um, three days. WOO HOO! Today though I had about 300 (that number is rounded up slightly…) people ask me if we are open for Christmas, and when I tell them No they are all like “Why not? Don’t you guys work everyday all day and don’t have LIVES?!”

Actually, I’ll leave you with a phone conversation that happened today that was very entertaining -

“Thank you for calling Dominos Pizza will this be for delivery or pick-up?” I say the normal question.

“Yes, what type of meat do you have?” A male voice asks.

“Pepperoni, sausage, beef, bacon, ham and philly steak,” I reel off rapidly.

“You don’t have any vegetables?!” The man’s voice suddenly sounds panicky and jumps up a few octaves. I would probably get the same reaction if I told him that CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED.

“Yessss but you were asking about MEATS,” I emphasize. I believe 30 lashings with expired dough should teach him well. I tell him all the vegetables, anyways.

“Okay I’ll have a pizza with all of the vegetables on it,” He says, sounding relieved that the vegetables have been spared from a certain death.

Well, that’s about all I have about spreading holiday cheer. Wait, that really wasn’t about spreading holiday nor cheer, was it?

Dammit.