“Have you checked your grades yet?”

“No, have you?”

“JILLIAN - What’d you get in Multimedia Applications?”

“If I didn’t get an A, I may as well give up computers - FOREVER”

“Check your grades already!”

“I already KNOW what I got.”

“What if your Accounting instructor made a mistake?”

“Are you saying that I have resorted to sexual favors to change my grade?”

“Noooo-WAIT, have you?!”

“If I have then I should probably get a refund.”

I’m sorry folks but tonights scheduled programming has been replaced by a Polka band - one of my favorites really.

Let’s just move along now there’s nothing funny to see here, if you want why don’t you try the website formerly known as “TheOnion”, and now known as…”TheOnion”? Just click on over straight away no funny business now. Line up in a single-file line and click over quietly one by one. There is no need to shove plenty of room to click through. James, please get your finger out of your nose and Allison, OYE - NO ALCOHOL.

SINGLE FILE you bunch of no-good, non-grateful, horrible…YOU THERE, tuck in your shirt buddy I’m tired of all of this lazy half-assed internet surfing. It won’t happen while I’m showing you around. The Onion is a website I frequent a lot when I’m feeling ADD. That, along with YouTube of course. TheOnion has a bunch of really entertaining stories and videos on there all of the time. Everyone taking notes? All have your buddies with you? Alright, let’s go!

Now the first movie we’ll head on over straight away to avoid any monkey business that might go on. It is one of my favorite movies from TheOnion, honestly. I’m sure you will all enjoy it as I have many times! David, your clicking technique is not proper please do it this wayyy-HEY WHO THREW THAT?!

Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again