I jerk awake on Sunday morning and look over at my clock.

“3:30AM” it glares at me.

I stick my arm out and wrench the covers loose, Sara looks at me and blinks slowly, half-asleep, too.  I lay back, close my eyes, and wonder why I woke up.  It doesn’t take long before I hear it.   Crying.  Faint at first, but it goes louder and louder until it sounds like a baby is wailing right by my bed.

My eyes snap open, and I look over at Sara, whose ears perk up at the noise and she is staring at the wall behind my bed.  I look over at my clock,  4:12AM.  I must’ve dosed off.  I swing my legs over my bed and stand up, staring at my wall.  The crying sounds like it gets closer and then further away, like someone is carrying the baby around.  I hold my ear up to the wall.  I can hear someone talking, but it sounds far away.

So far, that has happened EVERY.  SINGLE.  NIGHT.  since Sunday.

Last night I wake up at around 2:30AM.

“Pleaseeee let it be just for Halloween, the holidays,”  I say to no one.  I told my coworkers yesterday, and one of them said “What if they just had a baby?”

Oh, God.

I look over at Scrappy, who is sleeping in Sara’s bed.

“Oi, wake up!”  I say, wrenching my arm from underneath the tight grasp of my covers and hitting the bed, Scrappy jerks awake and looks at me as if she would like nothing more than for me to spontaneously burst into flame.

I slump back onto my pillow and groan, listening to the cooing baby sounds coming from my neighbors.  I take the pillow out from under my head and hold it over my face.  I wake up a little while later coughing…suffocating from breathing in the pillowcase.  I shove the pillow off my face and look at my clock: 3:45AM it says.

The crying is at normal volume again, and I can’t put the pillow back over my face unless I want a homicide investigation happening at my apartment within the next few days (”Died of Suffocation, Foulplay?” The headlines will read, I’m sure of it)

I’m considering sleeping on the couch tonight just to get some real sleep.

It’s either that or I go out and buy liquor.

So the other day I was on the phone with someone from my credit card company.  They said that they had sent me a new credit card because mine had expired, but I have not received it.

“Yes ma’am this is Bad Credit Card Company, how can I help you?” A male voice answers after I go through the normal routine of going through the automated menus and waiting on hold.

“Yeah my card expired about a week ago and I can’t use it because I don’t have a new one”

“I see ma’am, let me just pull up your account,” He says, and I can hear a keyboard clicking in the background.

“Yes, it says that we mailed you out a new card on the 14th of August, you have not received it?”

“No, is there anyway that you can resend it?”

“Ma’am, there is no need to get upset,”  He says immediately, his voice rising.

“I’m not upset…I just would like a new card please,”  I say, calmly.

“Alright ma’am just…just calm down there is no need to be upset about this,”  He says.  I pull the phone away from my and look at it.  I don’t know whether to laugh or be annoyed.  I look around the room, and my eyes fall on my cat, Sara, who is sleeping on the couch.  If my voice were raised at all then she would be hiding under the table or entertainment center.

“I’m not upset,”  I put the phone back to my ear, trying to keep my voice calm and even.

“Ma’am this is not a big deal, there is no reason why you would get so angry.”

“I’m not angry I’m…”

“Ma’am, you’re getting upset again, please…it’s…this will only take a minute,”  He says.  Now I’m getting pissed.

“Listen to me, I. Am. Not. Angry,”  I say, emphasizing each word.

“There is no need to be upset…” He starts.

“Listen, I wasn’t pissed off but you are making me upset by saying ‘don’t be upset’!”  I say loudly.

“Ma’am, can you just give me a few minutes to finish this it will be all taken care of.  Just try to stay calm.”

“Get me someone else,”  I demand, narrowing my eyes and staring around my apartment.  He sputters, saying that if I were calmer maybe he could have dealt with me, and then I am transferred.

“Yes ma’am how can I help you?”  Another males’ voice answers.

“Yes, I was just talking with someone else about my card, but he kept on saying to ‘not get upset’, which I wasn’t, and he kept on repeating it, so, I got a bit upset,”  I say, sounding like a three-year-old trying to explain to mommy why there is marker all over the wall.

“It’s alright ma’am, I can help you; the other representative forwarded all of your information to my screen,”  He says, clearly indifferent.

A few minutes later the phone transaction is complete, and I have my new card in the mail again.  After I hang up the phone I flip on the TV angrily.  I don’t know how someone would NOT get upset if someone were to keep saying “now, don’t be upset”, “don’t be angry” and “just stay calm”.

Now everyone, don’t be upset over this entry it’ll be alright; try not to leave angry comments, alright? :-)