My goodness, has it really been 4 years already?  It’s hard to believe that we just met 4 years ago on Christmas, and I held you in my loving arms.  I’m sorry that it has come to this, I really am.  We were getting along together so nicely, being together, being in each other’s arms.  I loved waking up in the morning and seeing you there, glowing, and happy to see me.

I’ll try not to cry, and I want you to be strong, too.  No, no, it’s best that we part ways here; I know that we will be together, someday.  You were with me all throughout those years in college, and I can’t thank you enough for that.  You held me in my darkest hours, were a source of laughter, of sadness.  I won’t forget all of the memories we have had together.

I can’t believe that we can no longer be together, and although I didn’t want for it to end, I know that it was for the best.  When I inserted the Windows XP Pro disk to reformat your harddrive, I knew that I was taking a piece of you, and wiping you clean, forever.  You will be much faster, and not bogged down with so many programs this time, my Dell 600M Laptop, and I promise to keep you cleaner this time.

It’s better this way.

This is me: Heyyy ISU long time no see!  Can I get a transcript?

What…what’s that?  You want me to send you a check?  Can’t I just give you the OK over the phone?

No?  Why not?  I mean, it’s my credit card, I can give you my drivers license number if you…

Oh come on…don’t be like that.

ISU don’t…don’t cry it’s alright.  Please don’t…ISU get up off the floor; what–what are you doing?

You are EMBARASSING me!  Get up off the floor ISU.  What did I just tell you?  Now, now, come on, get up off the floor.

Oh god that can’t be sanatary, DON’T put that in your mouth BAD ISU!

Alright FINE I’ll send you a check you archaic son of a…

Oh I didn’t mean that ISU I’m sorry, please…oh lord here we go again.  Don’t cry ISU don’t…come on now let’s try to be a grown-up alright?  Come on I’m sending the check in the mail as we speak; it’s alright.

Yes, I’ll buy you a toy if you send me my transcript; look, it’ll be your favorite!  Yes…yes it can be ice-cream as well.