So the other day I was on the phone with someone from my credit card company.  They said that they had sent me a new credit card because mine had expired, but I have not received it.

“Yes ma’am this is Bad Credit Card Company, how can I help you?” A male voice answers after I go through the normal routine of going through the automated menus and waiting on hold.

“Yeah my card expired about a week ago and I can’t use it because I don’t have a new one”

“I see ma’am, let me just pull up your account,” He says, and I can hear a keyboard clicking in the background.

“Yes, it says that we mailed you out a new card on the 14th of August, you have not received it?”

“No, is there anyway that you can resend it?”

“Ma’am, there is no need to get upset,”  He says immediately, his voice rising.

“I’m not upset…I just would like a new card please,”  I say, calmly.

“Alright ma’am just…just calm down there is no need to be upset about this,”  He says.  I pull the phone away from my and look at it.  I don’t know whether to laugh or be annoyed.  I look around the room, and my eyes fall on my cat, Sara, who is sleeping on the couch.  If my voice were raised at all then she would be hiding under the table or entertainment center.

“I’m not upset,”  I put the phone back to my ear, trying to keep my voice calm and even.

“Ma’am this is not a big deal, there is no reason why you would get so angry.”

“I’m not angry I’m…”

“Ma’am, you’re getting upset again, please…it’s…this will only take a minute,”  He says.  Now I’m getting pissed.

“Listen to me, I. Am. Not. Angry,”  I say, emphasizing each word.

“There is no need to be upset…” He starts.

“Listen, I wasn’t pissed off but you are making me upset by saying ‘don’t be upset’!”  I say loudly.

“Ma’am, can you just give me a few minutes to finish this it will be all taken care of.  Just try to stay calm.”

“Get me someone else,”  I demand, narrowing my eyes and staring around my apartment.  He sputters, saying that if I were calmer maybe he could have dealt with me, and then I am transferred.

“Yes ma’am how can I help you?”  Another males’ voice answers.

“Yes, I was just talking with someone else about my card, but he kept on saying to ‘not get upset’, which I wasn’t, and he kept on repeating it, so, I got a bit upset,”  I say, sounding like a three-year-old trying to explain to mommy why there is marker all over the wall.

“It’s alright ma’am, I can help you; the other representative forwarded all of your information to my screen,”  He says, clearly indifferent.

A few minutes later the phone transaction is complete, and I have my new card in the mail again.  After I hang up the phone I flip on the TV angrily.  I don’t know how someone would NOT get upset if someone were to keep saying “now, don’t be upset”, “don’t be angry” and “just stay calm”.

Now everyone, don’t be upset over this entry it’ll be alright; try not to leave angry comments, alright? :-)

“Yeah this is UPS, I just wanted to let you know that I dropped the package off by the front door,”  A guy says monotonously over the phone.  He doesn’t even take a breath - I’m impressed.

“Thanks, how did you get into the building?”  I ask, holding my cellphone while simultaneously getting my mail.  There is only one way to get into the building, and that is to have someone ‘buzz’ you in.  Usually the business managers do that for people delivering packages.

“I just rang the Darrell,”  The UPS guy says, clearly having delivered there before.  Darrell is one of the business managers.  Not a landlord, but someone the landlord pays to do all of the dirty work of the apartment complex: give tours, do screenings of new apartment tenants, field all the calls about maintenance, and be the general communication (read: buffer zone) between the landlord and the tenants.

“But, he didn’t come to the door, right?  Darrell doesn’t know what’s in the package?”  I ask.  Okay, so I have to admit, I didn’t exactly ASK if I could have a piano in an apartment complex.  No idea what I’m talking about?  Click here for the piano entry.  Well, to be quite honest I didn’t ask Darrell if I could have a piano for a reason. I don’t really want to find out what the answer is if I do ask.  I’ll just do first, ask questions later.

“No, I mean…” The guy trails off, I can practically hear him thinking, “I just told him it was heavy…”

“Okay that’s alright, thanks for the delivery!”  I say.   We hang up shortly afterward.

After retrieving my mail, I use my key to get back through the front door, and I look down the hallway.  The Main Offices’ light is on, the door is propped open, but no one is in there.  I walk quietly up the stairs, turn the corner and…

“OH GOD,”  I yelp, backing into the wall and dropping all of my mail.  Darrell is RIGHT around the corner, standing in front of my door.  He’s a pretty big guy, but no one could hide THAT size of box towering in the hallway.  It must be about 6 feet tall!

“Hey…Darrell,”  I say, bending over to pick up my mail.

“Oh, just the person I was looking for!”  He says happily.  Darrell is an elderly guy, who runs the apartment complex with his wife.

“Yeah, me too,”  I say, smiling like I had been waiting for him, not the other way around.

“Wait…you were?”  He asks, his smile faltering.

“Erm…I was just kidding Darrell,”  I say sheepishly, unable to think of something witty to say.  He turns around to look at the box.

“Oh, that’s um…an entertainment center,”  I finish lamely.  “I need a new one.”

“Oh okay, they must have used the wrong box then,”  He says, turning back around to look at me with his clear blue eyes, smiling.

“Why’s that?”

“Well, it says ‘Wellington Digital Piano’ on the side here,”  He says, pointing to BIG BOLD LETTERS saying ‘Wellington Digital Piano”. I watch as he turns around to face me, his clear blue eyes make me feel like he can see to my soul.

“Ahhhhh yeah about that,”  I start, smiling.

“Well, what the landlord doesn’t know won’t hurt him,”  Darrell says, walking away.  He turns around and adds, “And don’t forget to put that ‘entertainment center’ together quietly.”

“Thank you,”  I sputter. My mouth was hanging open at his point so I close it.  I spin around look at the box towering in the hallway.  There is NO WAY I will be able to life 130 pounds by myself.  I look down the hallway.  Of course, no one is around, and the complex is silent.

It took me about 3 hours, but I finally got it together:

Oh yeah, do I need to mention that about 120 pounds of that is in the KEYBOARD itself?! Good LORD it is heavy.  Try attaching legs to the stupid thing while on it’s side, and then having to LIFT the whole damn thing up by yourself and set it on two unsteady feet. After that, you go underneath tightening the rest of the bolts.  At one time I put my Ottoman underneath it just to dampen the blow to the keyboard if it falls, so that it doesn’t crush me.

Luckily for me, it never did.  And, now I have a digital piano, complete with play-along songs like “Hot Cross Buns” and “When the Saints Go Marching In”.  Next stop, Amazon for a better piano book!