Today I’ve been in a zombie-like state all day, watching nothing but VH1 and staring at a blank page, trying to will the creativity out of me.  Well, it started pouring out, anddd I’ve been working on a new blog template for this blog. (Yeah go figure) Let’s just say that it is going to match my current template on byJillian.com.  So, I’ve decided to step away from your regularly scheduled programming and bring youuuuu –

Pictures!  From when I delivered pizzas!

Feel free to sing words of praise here.

These pictures are from when I delivered pizzas in Normal, Illinois - Basically I just kept my digital camera hidden in the glove compartment in my car while I delivered pizzas, and took it with me when I saw a good photo op.

No, you are not hallucinating. I’m not sure where this is, but yes, those are shoes, and yes, that is a power line. ‘Nuff said.

The sun was setting and hitting these leaves just perfectly, I remember. Also, these leaves weren’t raked together, the tree was just BARE.

This was the biggest house I delivered to. (at least, I think so…) If I remember correctly, the part you are looking at in the picture isn’t even the HOUSE, it’s some sort of fully-furnished cabin or something on the same lot as the house. Their wrought-iron gate and perfectly manicured lawn makes me want to hurl all over this picture…

I remember walking away from a house, and this is in a large, abandoned lot right next door. The only thing left standing is this archway.

You know you live in a college apartment when… The landlords don’t have enough money to make the address more viewable! Now, imagine for a minute you are delivering pizzas: there are no lights on this address, and it is obscured by a few trees. Oh, the joy.

At first, I thought that this tree was covered in small spikes with white flowers, but, actually, it was some of the same flowers just preparing to bloom.

These signs, are EVERYWHERE. I delivered pizzas for only FIVE MONTHS, and I probably saw about 10 different signs outside of different landmarks.

The above sign happens to be right outside of this mansion. I wondered myself, who could possibly have that much money and own something like this? Well, I delivered there, and I can tell you with 100% certainty…

It’s a Frat House.

Anyone surprised?

“Yeah this is UPS, I just wanted to let you know that I dropped the package off by the front door,”  A guy says monotonously over the phone.  He doesn’t even take a breath - I’m impressed.

“Thanks, how did you get into the building?”  I ask, holding my cellphone while simultaneously getting my mail.  There is only one way to get into the building, and that is to have someone ‘buzz’ you in.  Usually the business managers do that for people delivering packages.

“I just rang the Darrell,”  The UPS guy says, clearly having delivered there before.  Darrell is one of the business managers.  Not a landlord, but someone the landlord pays to do all of the dirty work of the apartment complex: give tours, do screenings of new apartment tenants, field all the calls about maintenance, and be the general communication (read: buffer zone) between the landlord and the tenants.

“But, he didn’t come to the door, right?  Darrell doesn’t know what’s in the package?”  I ask.  Okay, so I have to admit, I didn’t exactly ASK if I could have a piano in an apartment complex.  No idea what I’m talking about?  Click here for the piano entry.  Well, to be quite honest I didn’t ask Darrell if I could have a piano for a reason. I don’t really want to find out what the answer is if I do ask.  I’ll just do first, ask questions later.

“No, I mean…” The guy trails off, I can practically hear him thinking, “I just told him it was heavy…”

“Okay that’s alright, thanks for the delivery!”  I say.   We hang up shortly afterward.

After retrieving my mail, I use my key to get back through the front door, and I look down the hallway.  The Main Offices’ light is on, the door is propped open, but no one is in there.  I walk quietly up the stairs, turn the corner and…

“OH GOD,”  I yelp, backing into the wall and dropping all of my mail.  Darrell is RIGHT around the corner, standing in front of my door.  He’s a pretty big guy, but no one could hide THAT size of box towering in the hallway.  It must be about 6 feet tall!

“Hey…Darrell,”  I say, bending over to pick up my mail.

“Oh, just the person I was looking for!”  He says happily.  Darrell is an elderly guy, who runs the apartment complex with his wife.

“Yeah, me too,”  I say, smiling like I had been waiting for him, not the other way around.

“Wait…you were?”  He asks, his smile faltering.

“Erm…I was just kidding Darrell,”  I say sheepishly, unable to think of something witty to say.  He turns around to look at the box.

“Oh, that’s um…an entertainment center,”  I finish lamely.  “I need a new one.”

“Oh okay, they must have used the wrong box then,”  He says, turning back around to look at me with his clear blue eyes, smiling.

“Why’s that?”

“Well, it says ‘Wellington Digital Piano’ on the side here,”  He says, pointing to BIG BOLD LETTERS saying ‘Wellington Digital Piano”. I watch as he turns around to face me, his clear blue eyes make me feel like he can see to my soul.

“Ahhhhh yeah about that,”  I start, smiling.

“Well, what the landlord doesn’t know won’t hurt him,”  Darrell says, walking away.  He turns around and adds, “And don’t forget to put that ‘entertainment center’ together quietly.”

“Thank you,”  I sputter. My mouth was hanging open at his point so I close it.  I spin around look at the box towering in the hallway.  There is NO WAY I will be able to life 130 pounds by myself.  I look down the hallway.  Of course, no one is around, and the complex is silent.

It took me about 3 hours, but I finally got it together:

Oh yeah, do I need to mention that about 120 pounds of that is in the KEYBOARD itself?! Good LORD it is heavy.  Try attaching legs to the stupid thing while on it’s side, and then having to LIFT the whole damn thing up by yourself and set it on two unsteady feet. After that, you go underneath tightening the rest of the bolts.  At one time I put my Ottoman underneath it just to dampen the blow to the keyboard if it falls, so that it doesn’t crush me.

Luckily for me, it never did.  And, now I have a digital piano, complete with play-along songs like “Hot Cross Buns” and “When the Saints Go Marching In”.  Next stop, Amazon for a better piano book!