This weekend went FLYING by.  This time last week I was very happy because all of the trainees got the day off on Thursday, July 3rd, July 4th, and then the weekend!  Pretty soon I wake up and it’s July 7th, and here I am.

So, my parents came up for July 4th weekend, annnddd now I am the proud owner of a brand new vacuum cleaner and 27 pounds of strawberries.

How are parents, 27 pounds of strawberries and a vacuum cleaner correlated?

Well, it all started out when we went shopping at the local mall.  All I had planned on getting was a pair of brown shoes and some dark-colored shirts.  However, when I left the mall I was the proud owner of a few books about the Titanic and a vacuum cleaner.  That’s probably the equivalent of going into Wal-Mart looking to get duct tape and coming out with a new pair of glasses and four Goodyear tires.

I would give back story to the whole vacuum cleaner ordeal, but honestly, it’s funnier that way and in reality, that is how it happened.  Coming on suddenly and unexpectedly.  Aren’t parents interesting that way?

How I ended up with 27 pounds of strawberries is simply the fact that I saw on the internet a strawberry-picking farm, and we decided to go.  I mean come on,  where else can you find a “100 Things to Do in Milwaukee” list and end up picking strawberries? Thanks, Google!

My brother and I had a little wager; after we had finished picking, he bet me that it was less than 14 pounds of strawberries.  I bet him that it was more.  Twenty-seven pounds of strawberries later, I’m a dollar richer and looking up strawberry jam recipies as soon as I got back home.   With my mother helping me, together we pumped out about ten 8-oz jars of strawberry jam.

Very delicious jam, I might add.

After giving my parents about half of the 27 pounds of whole strawberries, I’m left with one question.

Now, what in the hell am I going to do with the rest of the strawberries?  Okay, another question as well: who wants strawberries and/or strawberry jam?

Ah, so much to say, so little time.

I was approached by someone at work about this idea for an investment team on Monday.  I was like “Alright, sounds good”.  Then he started talking about a team he was already a part of, which was kinda like an investment team.  I was all like, I could make a few extra bucks, what’s the harm?

Oh, that is just the beginning.

I get there, and it’s like some weird excerpt from “20/20 Undercover” or “NBC Dateline”.  The first thing I saw that was rather fishy was that after my coworker showed me a flier at the hotel I met him at for the ‘investment club’, he would not let me have (or even hold) the LTD flier.  LTD stands for Leadership Team Development, but you could also say that is stands for Leads Teams (Spiraling) Downward.

Everyone was overly friendly, welcoming me like I’m their long lost cousin.  The next thing I know I’m in a room with about 80 people, and the guy is talking about all of the different companies that do business with all of these “i-commerce” people.  Not e-Commerce, oh no, because we are, you know, REAL people. Not robotic people or dinosaurs or Bill Gates that e-Commerce is run by, apparently.

I’ll spare you the details, but I think the creepiest thing was that when the speaker started listing all of the companies that work with these i-Commerce businesses (as in, Circuit City, Home Depot, Best Buy, Staples, etc.), EVERY. SINGLE. NAME. everyone would shout together “Yes!”, and clap a bit.

It was some kind of weird cult, and I realized that all of these people had the same glazed-over look while they watched the speaker talk about how much money they would all be making and how they will all not have to work in 4-5 years.

Yeah, right.

After the meeting, I tried to make myself seem very interested, as everyone around me asked if I was going to sign up for a mere 200 dollars (”Pocket change!” says the speaker), and I shook hands and showed the same glazed-over look that everyone else seemed to have on because they were all taken by this idea of money.  I must have looked convincing because I left with several hearty handshakes and cries of Good Luck, as I made my way down the carpet towards millionaire-dom.

Today, Rick (the guy who showed me the LTD in the first place, not his real name) and I got into it a bit.   It all started when he asks me if I want to go to another meeting to sign up.

“Rick, you are a smart guy, but I cannot BELIEVE you don’t know a pyramid scheme when you see one,”  I say.  Sure, I didn’t do any research about this “LTD Team” before I went, but as soon as the speaker-guy started drawing the whole thing where you are at the top, and then you tell two more friends and they tell more people and LOOK, now you are making 4K a month!  PART-AY!

“It’s not,”  Rick says, looking affronted.  I explain to him that whole ‘you at the top’ and then how it works your way down makes a perfect pyramid.

“So what you’re saying is that say, Microsoft is a pyramid scheme too?”  Rick says, going on the defense.   I just stare at him.

“You’re kidding, right?”  I say.

“Well, it’s got a CEO at the top, and then a CIO and VP’s next, and then employees, you in our example, at the bottom.”  He says, shrugging with a smug look on his face.

“Yeah, but you don’t have to PAY to join Microsoft, do you?  And, if you are an employee of Microsoft, they pay you an actual INCOME, written in a contract where you will get said income?”  I say, staring him down.

“Well, I get income from LTD,”  Rick says, starting up again.

“No, but I am not required to get 10 people to join Microsoft in order to generate YOUR income,”  I say, rolling my eyes.  “How many people have you got to join this?”

“It’s alright if you don’t believe in it…forty people!”  He says hotly.  I roll my eyes again.

So, I ask to see a list, and Rick resists because I will never see the list anyways or know the people.

“And that, is why I will never believe you,”  I say.

“That’s fine,”  He says, looking beaten.  I come out of the argument only to realize that we were the only two talking in a room full of a people, who are now staring at us.

Honestly, I didn’t even do research about LTD before I went and I figured out it was a some creepy cult/pyramid scheme.  Of course, when I did do research on LTD it only confirmed what I already knew.

If I could set my mood on Wordpress, then it would currently be “LTD SUCKS” and “ANNOYED”.  Ugh!